An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old manalways has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really lovespeanuts.<p>One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young manyields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of thejar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confessesto his crime.</p><p>"Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old manreplies.
"Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off theM&M's."
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Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench inMiami. They had been meeting at that park every sunny day for over 12years... chatting, and enjoying each other''s friendship. </p><p>One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says,"Please don''t be angry with me, dear, but I am embarrassed, after allthese years. . .What is your name? I am trying to remember, but I justcan't." </p><p>The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothingfor two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says, "How soon doyou have to know?"
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A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test.
The engineer went in first and was asked, ''''What is 2+2?'''' The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, ''''4.''''
Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, ''''4.0''''
Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. Thelawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, ''''What do youwant it to be?''''
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A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for aweek. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when hecould pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, ''I'm sosorry, but while you were away, the cat died." </p><p>The man was very upset and yelled, ''You know, you could have brokenthe news to me better than that. When I called today, you could havesaid he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called thenext day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet wasworking on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you couldhave said he had passed away.'' </p><p>The brother thought about it and apologized. </p><p>"So how's Mom?" asked the man.</p><p>"She's on the roof and won't come down."
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</p><p>
</p><p>
</p>
<p>
</p><p>See? I do have a sense of humor.
</p>
"Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off theM&M's."
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Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench inMiami. They had been meeting at that park every sunny day for over 12years... chatting, and enjoying each other''s friendship. </p><p>One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says,"Please don''t be angry with me, dear, but I am embarrassed, after allthese years. . .What is your name? I am trying to remember, but I justcan't." </p><p>The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothingfor two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says, "How soon doyou have to know?"
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A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test.
The engineer went in first and was asked, ''''What is 2+2?'''' The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, ''''4.''''
Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, ''''4.0''''
Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. Thelawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, ''''What do youwant it to be?''''
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A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for aweek. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when hecould pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, ''I'm sosorry, but while you were away, the cat died." </p><p>The man was very upset and yelled, ''You know, you could have brokenthe news to me better than that. When I called today, you could havesaid he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called thenext day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet wasworking on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you couldhave said he had passed away.'' </p><p>The brother thought about it and apologized. </p><p>"So how's Mom?" asked the man.</p><p>"She's on the roof and won't come down."
-----------------------------------------------
</p><p>
</p><p>
</p>
<p>
</p><p>See? I do have a sense of humor.
</p>
