ALL ABOARD THE MOTHERFUCKING HYPE TRAIN — H1Z1

[Tryden]

So there you are, filling out your online dating profile, adding "low self esteem" and "attachment issues" to the About You section.

Just another regular Thursday night.

Hoping to hear back from a 3/10 soon, your phone buzzes. You check it. It's your only friend in the world — Andy.

Through your tears, you read the text.

"lol fegit u playing H1Z1?"

OH FUCK YOU ALMOST FORGOT. VINDICTIVE'S NEXT OVER-HYPED GAME THAT WE WILL PLAY FOR MAYBE A MONTH AND THEN ABANDON IS HERE. YOUR MOST FAVOURITE PART OF BEING IN THIS GUILD.

H1Z1 is a zombie sandbox game that is promising everything DayZ did, except without the bugs and maybe fewer Europeans.

"But Tryden," you ask, texting what is likely a middle-aged Fillipino man pretending to be a college student. "Why should I bother playing this game when, like my parents calling to get an update on my life, this will all end in disappointment?"

WELL BECAUSE H1Z1 HAS EVERYTHING YOU FUCKING LOVE ABOUT VIDEO GAMES.

LIKE:

ZOMBIE CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATIONS

FUCKING RUNNING FOR HOURS ON END

AND GRATUITOUS YURI

So go and spend that $20 you were going to use to order pizza for one and join us in a post-apocalyptic rural America, where we will rob people and make them take off their clothes for our entertainment.

http://store.steampowered.com/app/295110/

SEE YOU GUYS ON TEAMSPEAK TONIGHT.

 

[brti]

H1Z1 is currently being developed in Early Access Alpha release for Microsoft Windows on Steam, and later due for full release on PlayStation 4.

Fucking dropped, also Sony Online Entertainment, ESO comes to mind. Well lets see how horrifically this will flop.

 

[the8bits]

how's archeage doing? and I know I'm actually getting EVOLVE . how does this compare to 7days to die from what anyones heard about it. (considering how I know next to nothng about it)

 

[Da Kream]

WHY ARE THERE ONLY 2 OF US ON TS FOR THIS

THE HYPE TRAIN IS A LIE

 

[Ivy-]

WHY ARE THERE ONLY 2 OF US ON TS FOR THIS

THE HYPE TRAIN IS A LIE

Because it's midday on a fucking Thursday?

 

[Cyendia]

WHY ARE THERE ONLY 2 OF US ON TS FOR THIS

THE HYPE TRAIN IS A LIE

Because it's midday on a fucking Thursday?

The logic is stronk.

 

[Aren]

AND GRATUITOUS YURI

Almost took the bait. Almost. But everyone knows that zombies can't be lesbians. DUH.

 

[Tryden]

OUR FIRST GAME FOOTAGE FROM THE H1Z! LAUNCH:

 

[LostElric]

Pass. Also Evolve Beta this weekend if you own Bioshock: Infinite and or Left 4 Dead.

 

[MauserTeleri]

how is it?

 

[KrampusDoomfister]

how is it?

Better than DayZ, still has a long way to go. I was having a lot of fun with it, had a character that was a few days old, then I got killed by a hacker. And not a "Krampus died" hacker, a legit hacker. Dude was flying around the map, landed in front of me and shot me. Luckily Dragon shot him while he was looting me. Still a shitty way to die after investing a good amount of time to get shit the legit way.

 

[Ivy-]

how is it?

And not a "Krampus died" hacker, a legit hacker.

SURE....

 

[Cyendia]

how is it?

And not a "Krampus died" hacker, a legit hacker.

SURE....

At least he admitted there's a difference between a "krampus died" hacker and a legit hacker.

 

[Ivy-]

how is it?

And not a "Krampus died" hacker, a legit hacker.

SURE....

At least he admitted there's a difference between a "krampus died" hacker and a legit hacker.

I'm so proud.