Hello fellow members of MEAN.
It's that time of the year again, where we check in and reminisce about everything we've accomplished as a guild during the past 12 months. The great thing about this community is that you never know what kind of crazy hijinks we'll get up to in any given year. Will Spine sexually harass another underage girl? Will the guild collapse after losing seven-straight GvG matches? Will a disgruntled former member show up to my door in real life and threaten to kill me?
Man, so many whacky memories.
On that note, let's take a look at all the crazy things MEAN did in 2016.
We officially became a dead guild
Whoa, who would have thought? After a year which saw us mount no fewer than two over-hyped comebacks, MEAN followed up 2015 by becoming a dead guild in 2016. There were no collapses. No Gage farewell threads. No passive-aggressive posts from Ghost about all the ways we fucked up in our GvGs.
Disappointingly, there were also no sex scandals. No secret affairs, no Ivy nudes. Fuck you 2016.
Olcan got engaged
Like the Byzantine Empire staring down Ottoman might at Constantinople in 1453, we knew it was all over. Olcan announced his engagement, and although we knew he was happy, we also knew we'd never see him again. While 2015 saw us lose some great members to marriage and pregnancy, Olcan's enagagement reminded us of the ceaseless biological drive that pushes us to pair up with our fellow human beings and procreate in a desperate bid to pass on our genetic material and achieve the closest we will ever come to immortality.
Really happy for you Olcan!
Sigma got a new guild
The handsome, hispanic version of me, brimming with untapped talent and a dormant desire to usurp and take everything I love and hold dear, Sigma, joined a new guild this year. He then took my own son, Metalflames, from me. He took some other miscellaneous members with him. They also abandoned our Teamspeak, and used some kind of new voice com program.
A shocking treachery that will be remembered for a thousand bloodlines.
I went to Japan and was exposed as a weeb
Listen guys, I've accused a lot of people of being weeaboos. And honestly, most of the time, I was right. I'd look at them with disgust as they masturbated to animated characters running around Tokyo and fighting pocket monsters. It was sad shit, with Ghost being the pinnacle of this existential Japanese-culture loving threat.
But then I went to Tokyo. And life changed. Now I devote an entire bedroom to my manga collection. #blessed
But enough about 2016. Here's why 2017 will be our year
Alright. I know you've all been waiting for it. You talk about it in hushed whispers. "Hey, did you hear?" It's true. There's going to be a revival in 2017. It might not be January. But it will happen. The powers that be are eyeing a bunch of different games.
Even now, deep in my parent's basement, I'm hard at work on a new comeback video. It's going to blow up on Twitter. And Instagram. It might even cause you to take a break from swapping nudes with that 63-year-old chief financial officer fresh out of a divorce that randomly followed you on Snapchat (show him the video, let us know what he thinks, then go back to sending him snaps of your bleached asshole).
I'll have more details for you shortly. But this year in review needed to end on a postive note. Look not backward, brothers and sisters, but forward.
Our return is cumming.
It's that time of the year again, where we check in and reminisce about everything we've accomplished as a guild during the past 12 months. The great thing about this community is that you never know what kind of crazy hijinks we'll get up to in any given year. Will Spine sexually harass another underage girl? Will the guild collapse after losing seven-straight GvG matches? Will a disgruntled former member show up to my door in real life and threaten to kill me?
Man, so many whacky memories.
On that note, let's take a look at all the crazy things MEAN did in 2016.
We officially became a dead guild
Whoa, who would have thought? After a year which saw us mount no fewer than two over-hyped comebacks, MEAN followed up 2015 by becoming a dead guild in 2016. There were no collapses. No Gage farewell threads. No passive-aggressive posts from Ghost about all the ways we fucked up in our GvGs.
Disappointingly, there were also no sex scandals. No secret affairs, no Ivy nudes. Fuck you 2016.
Olcan got engaged
Like the Byzantine Empire staring down Ottoman might at Constantinople in 1453, we knew it was all over. Olcan announced his engagement, and although we knew he was happy, we also knew we'd never see him again. While 2015 saw us lose some great members to marriage and pregnancy, Olcan's enagagement reminded us of the ceaseless biological drive that pushes us to pair up with our fellow human beings and procreate in a desperate bid to pass on our genetic material and achieve the closest we will ever come to immortality.
Really happy for you Olcan!
Sigma got a new guild
The handsome, hispanic version of me, brimming with untapped talent and a dormant desire to usurp and take everything I love and hold dear, Sigma, joined a new guild this year. He then took my own son, Metalflames, from me. He took some other miscellaneous members with him. They also abandoned our Teamspeak, and used some kind of new voice com program.
A shocking treachery that will be remembered for a thousand bloodlines.
I went to Japan and was exposed as a weeb
Listen guys, I've accused a lot of people of being weeaboos. And honestly, most of the time, I was right. I'd look at them with disgust as they masturbated to animated characters running around Tokyo and fighting pocket monsters. It was sad shit, with Ghost being the pinnacle of this existential Japanese-culture loving threat.
But then I went to Tokyo. And life changed. Now I devote an entire bedroom to my manga collection. #blessed
But enough about 2016. Here's why 2017 will be our year
Alright. I know you've all been waiting for it. You talk about it in hushed whispers. "Hey, did you hear?" It's true. There's going to be a revival in 2017. It might not be January. But it will happen. The powers that be are eyeing a bunch of different games.
Even now, deep in my parent's basement, I'm hard at work on a new comeback video. It's going to blow up on Twitter. And Instagram. It might even cause you to take a break from swapping nudes with that 63-year-old chief financial officer fresh out of a divorce that randomly followed you on Snapchat (show him the video, let us know what he thinks, then go back to sending him snaps of your bleached asshole).
I'll have more details for you shortly. But this year in review needed to end on a postive note. Look not backward, brothers and sisters, but forward.
Our return is cumming.
