ARE YOU READY TO HAVE SOME ELDER LOLS?
It's late afternoon on a Monday and you've just woken up, covered in cheese byproduct from your CHEETOS eating binge the night before. You waddle over to the computer and plop down, typing in vindictiveonline.com to go to your favourite forums and check out the latest Spine ab selfies.
That's when you see it. Your hand is shaking as you guide your mouse cursor over the newest thread title. "Elder Scrolls Online ... giveaway?" you whisper breathlessly, not because you're excited but because you're 50 pounds overweight.
Then the realization hits you. You were kicked out of Vindictive last month and can't enter the contest.
FOR EVERYONE ELSE, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO WIN ONE OF FOUR COPIES OF ELDER SCROLLS ONLINE: IMPERIAL EDITION. Thanks to a generous donation by Aemon Algiz (terrorist codename: Aemon Al-Jizz), you could have your very own motherfucking DIGITAL MUDCRAB. Plus the other shit that's featured below.
To enter this contest, you will need to do the following.All of your names will be entered into a lottery known as the Reaping, whereby we will hold a public draw and a male and female participant, that will henceforth be known as tributes, will be chosen at random from each of the 12 districts. All tributes will have tracking chips inserted into them and be given weapons training. Eventually, they will be sent to an outdoor arena to fight to the death. The victor will be crowned and the families from your district will be awarded additional food and parcels for the rest of the year. You have to pick a number from 1 to 200 (under beats over) PLUS you have to come up with a witty tagline for Vindictive. The number will determine if you win a copy, but the tagline forces you to at least PUT SOME EFFORT INTO IT.
Here is an example of a tagline from my professional business card:
I will choose the winners through a draw I will hold on WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26. I will make a video of me choosing four random numbers from http://www.random.org/ so you know it is authentic. The time will be clearly visible.
Good lucktributes friends!
It's late afternoon on a Monday and you've just woken up, covered in cheese byproduct from your CHEETOS eating binge the night before. You waddle over to the computer and plop down, typing in vindictiveonline.com to go to your favourite forums and check out the latest Spine ab selfies.
That's when you see it. Your hand is shaking as you guide your mouse cursor over the newest thread title. "Elder Scrolls Online ... giveaway?" you whisper breathlessly, not because you're excited but because you're 50 pounds overweight.
Then the realization hits you. You were kicked out of Vindictive last month and can't enter the contest.
FOR EVERYONE ELSE, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO WIN ONE OF FOUR COPIES OF ELDER SCROLLS ONLINE: IMPERIAL EDITION. Thanks to a generous donation by Aemon Algiz (terrorist codename: Aemon Al-Jizz), you could have your very own motherfucking DIGITAL MUDCRAB. Plus the other shit that's featured below.
To enter this contest, you will need to do the following.
Here is an example of a tagline from my professional business card:
I will choose the winners through a draw I will hold on WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26. I will make a video of me choosing four random numbers from http://www.random.org/ so you know it is authentic. The time will be clearly visible.
Good luck
